A Vermont Journal: A report on the Green Mountain Relay

by Rosie Carnage

Dear Diary: 

Phew, there has to be a more relaxing way to spend a weekend.... a 198-mile run down the length of Vermont from Jeffersonville to Bennington on the 11-member Wissahickon Witches team!

Well, let's start at the beginning.  The gun sounds at 8 Saturday morning, and Duncan heads out into the rain on the road for the first leg of the Green Mountain Relay. The rest of us retire to the comfort of the Windridge Bakery.  It seems a little odd to have commenced this grueling race  and to be sitting down to a three-course breakfast.  This must have been how it felt on the Titanic...enjoying the good life oblivious to the fact that all hell was about to break loose!

Anyway, the food is homemade and delicious. Brian is eating what looks like a loaf of raisin bread soaked in maple syrup.  I can't believe he will be lugging this in his stomach down the length of Vermont.  But he looks happy, and this carboloading obviously worked because Brian ran brilliantly  throughout the ensuing relay.  Susan has no regard for nutrition and must have doubled her cholesterol level with a breakfast of eggs, bacon and hash browns.

The breakfast gave us a chance to kibitz with members of Ellen's Fleet Flock of Flycatchers, another team in the race. Many of the Flycatchers are graduates of the Wanderer School of Hard Knocks,  so they are going to be tough competition.  The Flycatchers include legendary Wanderer relay runner Wayne Hamilton. Wayne had signed up with the Witches.  But that was before Flycatcher impresario Bob Adelson entered the act. Bob is a tough businessman.  I can't believe that I ended up agreeing on Bob's terms to trade Wayne to the Flycatchers for two water bottles and a six-pack of Gatorade.  That was a big mistake and almost came back to haunt us.

Back to the race.  Duncan is a real pro.  He lets the Ultras run off into the horizon.  But doesn't panic and keeps up a steady pace. Lorre picks up the second leg. This was Lorre's debut for the Wanderers.  Based on her performance, she is going to have a very bright future with the Wanderers.  Wendy is suffering from a rollerblading injury. For good measure, she gets lost on leg 3, but still perseveres.  Wendy is a tough cookie.

Randy is simply amazing. He runs an extra leg, attacks the uphill climbs, and flies down the hills.

Steve Carnage runs magnificently in his duel with Wayne on the mountainous legs 5, 17, and 29.  But Steve's performance should not be a surprise because speed and endurance have become synonymous with the name Carnage.  The mountain top duels between Steve and Wayne have already become legendary.  Wayne repulses Steve on the first two legs, but finally buckles and cracks on t he ascent of Mt. Bromley.  Steve passes him and the Witches never look back again.

Can't forget Sharon. A newcomer to the team, she is an absolute tiger out on the course.  Sharon definitely has to be signed up to a long-term Wanderer contract...immediately!

Paige, running legs 7, 19, and 31, defies the laws of Physics.  While everyone else was running out of gas as the race wore on, Paige gets faster and faster.

Brian is an absolute workhorse. We traded Monica to the Ultras to get Brian. Many said giving up a 3:15 marathoner like that was crazy.  But Brian is Mr. Dependable running up and down hills, through darkness and rain without flinching.

As far as the Great One's performance, it is easy to get distracted by the nutritional backsliding (the stop at the Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream factory, the consumption of dry and cold pancake, etc.) and that hideously psychedelic headband she decided to wear. But Susan was absolutely great out on the road.  And really some of her best work was before the race.  She looked like a Marine recruiter the way she lined up runners for the Witches team when a few gaps opened up in the lineup.

Unfortunately, Susan's dubious nutritional habits proved to be contagious.  Bob Zock, who followed her, was, as usual, a complete star.  He was passing runners all day...and night.  But Bob's otherwise impeccable performance was marred by the sight of him inexplicably digging into a day-old cold pizza just before his final leg.

In all, the Green Mountain Relay was like a dream come true for the Witches...mountainous terrain, rain ranging from drizzle to downpour (Bob Adelson even reported some snow in the higher elevations), biting winds, and chilly temperatures, and lots of darkness.

In my fatigued and slightly delusional mind, running the overnight legs I thought I must have been hit by a truck and entered the afterlife because I found myself operating in a world of complete darkness...total silence...with me running...forever.  I was expecting it to be blazing hot with lots of glowing coals to run over. I was surprised to find the next world to be cool and damp.  I guess you never know.

Anyway, here are the findings of fact.  The entire performance results in a finish of 29 hours, four minutes and 20 seconds, about nine minutes ahead of the Flycatchers, but about and hour and twenty minutes behind the Ultras.   Team statistician Steve Carnage computed that by the end of the race, we were holding even with the Ultras and maybe if the race had lasted another 100 miles we would have caught them. Overall, we finished in 16th place.

The turnout for the Green Mountain Relay was less than expected with only 21 teams competing in the race.  But that made for a delightfully friendly and informal affair.  The organizers and the support staff along the road were delightful .  Although everyone agrees that the conditions were more arduous than expected, it was a great race! And I don't care what the results say, I think we were the winners!

Witches Roster:

Duncan MacGuigan Legs #1, 13, 25
Lorre Eng  #2,14, 26
Wendy Stevens #3,15,27, 28
Randy Clever #4, 12, 24, 36
Steve Carnage #5, 17, 28, 29
Sharon Tasman #6, 18, 30
Brian McKenna #7, 19. 31
Paige Soltany #8, 20, 32
Rosie Carnage #9, 16, 21, 33
The Great One #10, 22, 34
Bob Zock #11, 23, 35

PHOTOS: Click photos to enlarge

The team is registered and Duncan awaits the starting gun.	The Ultras were an intimidating presence before the race.
The Flycatchers await race start.  They kept throwing fresh legs at the weary Witches as the race wore on.
The teams line-up for the start.	They're off!  That's Duncan taking the first leg.
The Windridge Bakery was a great way to start the relay.  That's Paige, Susan and Brian awaiting their training meal with Wayne just after the race started.	Brian was very happy with his raisin toast smothered in maple syrup.
Susan was also very happy!	Wendy gets ready for Leg #3
The Witches were worried that Sharon would get mistaken for a garden gnome and would be stolen!	Wendy takes the hand off from Lorre.
Wendy was cruising on Leg #3 while Susan provides support	Randy takes over from Wendy as Steve supervises.  Technovan stands ready for service in background.
Witches take a much needed break from relay at Ben and Jerry's ice cream factory.	Go, Sharon!!
Bob Adelson of the Flycatchers was a tough, but worthy opponent.  He went head to head with Paige.	Paige refuels with water on Leg #8.
Rosie Carnage takes the hand-off from Paige to start Leg #9.	Randy and Bob were the backbone of the Witches team.
The Great One was in top form.  Please note headband she was wearing.	Bob was absolutely storming on the lengthy Leg #11.
Randy takes a break with a race support official, left, and a Flycatcher, right.	By nightfall, the Technovan had turned into a boiler room. That's Steve Carnage at the controls with Duncan suiting up for action.
Night is falling, but Witches spirits were still high. That's yet another Vermont mountain in the background.	Lorre begins working the night shift.
That's Wendy emerging out of the darkness at transfer station #15.	The Witches really missed Wayne!!
Brian takes over from Sharon on Leg #31.	Attaboy, Brian!
Two violations were assessed the Great One during the relay.  One deduction was for the headband, and the second for unacceptable nutritional habits.  Here she is caught in the act eating cold pancakes prior to her last run.	Paige was really motoring on Leg #32.
We did it!  Witches at the finish line!	Flycatchers finish nine minutes later.
Wendy, steve and the Technovan were all stars during the relay.	Wendy became a certified Technovan technician during the relay. She was on top form operating the cel phone while driving the van back to Philadelphia.
Rosie crashes on the way back to Philadelphia.	Sharon does likewise.

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