David Beats Goliath

Appearances can be deceiving! The Dunkin Doughnuts Winnebago at first glance looked like a juggernaut. It was later exposed by the Wanderers’ technovan.

The much anticipated showdown between the Wanderers Technovan and the Dunkin Doughnuts Winnebago at the Reach the Beach Relay in late September was simply no contest.

In fact, the Winnebago was so badly outclassed that it did not even appear after the first leg of the relay. The much ballyhooed Winnebago only served small cups of tepid coffee without a doughnut in sight. Meanwhile the little Technovan showed its full versatility during the 200-mile relay through New Hampshire providing a steady flow of food from its kitchen, continual support and motivation through its communication and loudspeaker equipment, and comfortable shelter during the evening legs of the relay.

In fact, Wanderer runners assigned to the Technovan seemed to produce improved race performance on the second day of the competition after several hours of restful sleep in the Technovan and nourishing breakfasts served up in its kitchen.

Support for Wet Hen

Dear Editor:
I am in complete agreement with wet hen’s view that the waterstop engages in invidious discrimination. Until I had the opportunity to read her illuminating letter, I didn’t even realize there was such a thing as “the waterstop” since I have yet to receive a copy!   I trust that these sleazy journalistic practices will cease forthwith.

I am also concerned that the Wanderers’ support staff for the NYC marathon will be comprised of a bunch of “lunckheads” as at previous events such as the Philadelphia Marathon and the Cape Breton relay.  I would appreciate your assuring me otherwise.

Very truly yours,
Beast of Burden

Brain Trust Takes Another Hit

Dear Dummy:
I read with dismay the results from the Wanderers relays this summer. 48th out of 50 in the River to Sea, and 231st out of 244 in the Dances with Dirt relay. Whew! Who’s piloting this ship? Whoever is at the helm is steering the Wanderers right for the rocks!

I have one question. When is Simon Newman coming back from Scotland? He could restore this venerable running to the glory it deserves. Plus, Simon used to be a chef and should improve what they have been passing off as training meals coming out of the Technovan kitchen.

Sincerely,
A Friend of the Wanderers

Rock Steady Responds

Dear Sir:
I am writing this letter in response to the scurrilous communi-qués by Wet Hen in the last issue of the Water Stop and from Beast of Burden and the purported Friend of the Wanderers in the current issue.

The criticisms of the Wanderers brain trust do not bother me except for forcing me to look up in the dictionary the meaning of words like “invidious.” But what does bother me is that Simon Newman is just as sleazy as the rest of us. Yet, because of his English accent, he gets away with it!

Who can forget the way he flim-flammed Brooke Hunter into coming up to Cape Breton when we were desperate for runners. His conduct was egregious, but everyone conveniently forgets this.
It’s true, the Wanderers race performance this past year leaves something to be desired. But I think the Wanderers brain trust should be given another chance.

Yours most sincerely,
Rock Steady